Burton’s introduction to Dog Shows!

What’s up people!  I’m Burton and I’m a 7 month old French Bulldog.  Last week, my humans took me to my first dog show in Hutchinson, Minnesota (It was my moms first dog show too).  And let me tell you what, THAT was interesting!  Looking back I should have known something was up.  For the last couple weeks, my mom has been taking me to a “conformation class” at the Pet Junction.  It’s alright, you know, if your into that sort of thing.  We basically went so she could learn how to “show” me.  But for me, it was a good opportunity to sniff some butt’s.  The other humans don’t seem to like when I do that to their dogs.  One of them even told my mom to “Watch your dog honey!”.  Geez, relax!

Anyhow, the humans put me into the car Saturday and made me ride in it for like 90 minutes.  When we got to the dog show, I was in Heaven!  There were Bitches everywhere!  And NO, this is not an insult.  That is what I kept hearing them call all the lady dog’s…Bitches.  Since I’m a boy, I was just called a Dog.  Works for me!

My mom seemed nervous when we got there which made me a little worried.  I decided to calm her nerves by puking on the floor and making her pick it up with her hands.  Apparently no one keeps paper towels around at a dog show.  And right when my mom was picking it up, some old dude ran up to me and felt my butt.  RUDE!  He said he “liked my rear movement and thought I’d be a good stud dog”.  OK, now I’m flattered!  Sounds like an opportunity to meet some ladies.  Turns out though, the old dude owned my Dad.  Random.  I’ve never met him, my Dad.  I have some words for him, but I’ll take the high road and keep my mouth shut.

I was in ring 4 at 9am.  First, the English Bulldogs and Boston Terriers showed themselves in the ring.  Then, it was my turn.  Apparently there are different age groups so I was in the Dogs 6-9 month category.  I was the only one in that category.  Naturally, I walked into that ring with some confidence but then thought I’d rally the crowds and puked again right by my mom’s feet.  Bonus points?  Apparently not.  I was put up on the show table, some other dude felt me up and then told me to walk around the ring.  Guess what…I got a blue ribbon!  But please, don’t tell anyone I was the only guy in my category.  I still got a blue ribbon!  I got to go back in the ring with all the other dogs and compete for another ribbon but I didn’t win best dog.

Anyhow, I hope you enjoyed learning about the world of dog shows.  What did I learn?  These people are intense, I loved all the ladies, and I’m excited to do it again.  Next time, I hope to spare my mom red cheeks and keep the puke in my belly.

Love, Burton

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